Why Can’t I Cum From Head? (Struggling To Climax From Oral)

Why Can’t I Cum From Head? (Struggling To Climax From Oral)

Sex can be oh so exciting, but it’s not just penetrative sex that we look forward to with our partners.

Sometimes, foreplay such as mutual masturbation or oral sex can be just as good or even more exciting than the actual act of sex. 

Oral sex can really enhance your relationship, as studies show that nearly 80% of us enjoy oral sex and find it fun and titillating.

Why Can’t I Cum From Head? (Struggling To Climax From Oral)

So, what happens if you can’t climax from oral sex, or you feel that you can’t cum from head? 

It can feel a little embarrassing being unable to climax from oral, and it can put a strain on your relationship as your partner may feel like their skills are subpar, but this is not always the case.

Many men and women struggle to cum from oral sex, and most of them don’t’ really know why they can’t!

So, why can’t you cum from head? Let’s find out! 

Male Struggling To Cum From Oral Sex

It’s not just women who struggle to orgasm when someone’s ‘going down’ there. There’s a common misconception that all guys love oral sex, and blowjobs are all they care about.

For a lot of guys, reaching sexual pleasure and having an orgasm through oral sex alone can be difficult, so why is this the case?

Well, you’re not the only one.

The way society talks about oral sex in TV, films, and popular culture, you’d swear it was the be-all and end-all, but for some of us, it just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 

Whether it’s your partner, who just isn’t seeming to hit those perfect sweet spots, or you’re too tied up thinking about something else to concentrate on enjoying the experience and orgasming. 

For most males, the main problem with struggling to cum from oral sex is that your head’s not in it. You could be suffering from a mental block, where your mind is elsewhere, and you’re struggling to focus on what is going on down there. 

You may also not enjoy oral sex as your partner can seem far away from you, and you prefer a hands-on experience.

When your partner is pleasuring you orally, they can be down there, and you may struggle to make eye contact with them to feel a sexual connection. 

Alternatively, for some people, having someone give them head can make them feel vulnerable or uncomfortable, as they are lonely by themselves, with nothing to do but sit there and wait for their partner to pleasure them. 

For many people, they can feel like giving oral or receiving head is a chore for their partner, and it can make them feel self-conscious. This can also send your mind into overdrive, and you can start worrying or thinking about your partner instead of just enjoying them giving you oral sex.

If you feel self-conscious about being the center of attention, then try switching it up and taking it in turns.

If you do your partner first, and then they reciprocate, you may not feel as anxious about getting head, and you could relax more and just enjoy it.

Once you relax and get out of your head, the odds are you’ll be able to feel extra stimulated and reach an orgasm. 

You may want to try relaxing a little and just allowing yourself to enjoy the experience worry-free.

The odds are if your partner is giving you oral, they want you to orgasm, and they’d rather you just let them pleasure you.

However, if you are concerned, then discuss the situation and ask them how they feel about it, or whether you should both try a different kind of foreplay. 

We hate to say it, but the reason you may not cum from oral could be just that you’re not meshing well with your partner. Perhaps they are not used to giving head, they’re inexperienced, uncomfortable, or simply they don’t know what to do to hit all of your buttons.

That’s completely fine and normal, as many couples need to find a routine or get into the swing of things for you both to have orgasms every time you have sex. 

To help in this situation, you can let your partner know in a kind way that it’s not really working for you, or encourage them when they do something that you enjoy.

If you’re really not a fan of oral sex, then simply just let them know, and you can try something else that works for the both of you! 

Why Can’t I Cum From Head? (Struggling To Climax From Oral)

Female Struggling To Cum From Oral Sex

Women are known for struggling to orgasm during sex. It’s a well-known fact that many women may struggle to orgasm for a large part of their sexual lives, and some go years without ever experiencing an orgasm. 

Females are notorious for not being able to orgasm during oral sex, as the vagina can be a little more complicated to comprehend and understand.

Many women cannot achieve orgasm through penetrative sex, and some just can’t cum from oral sex either. This can leave you and your partner feeling frustrated both sexually and mentally.

However, there are ways around it. Many women know their bodies better than their partners, so try to guide them and let them know what works for you. Sometimes, speed is not the winner, and slow strokes are better, or perhaps you prefer stimulating the clitoris rather than anything else in order to cum. Everyone’s different. 

Another reason you could struggle to orgasm is the same as above.

You could feel self-conscious about having all the attention on you, and you may worry and stress about your partner, whether they enjoy doing it or not, or you could feel vulnerable. 

Sometimes, it simply takes time for you to feel fully comfortable, and for you to get used to feeling vulnerable with a partner.

You know what they say, practice makes perfect! 

Finally, you may find that you haven’t enjoyed oral sex in the past, and you try to avoid it now.

Whilst you may think that you don’t like it, sex is different from partner to partner. Your past partner may not have worked well with your needs sexually, and the next one might, so try it out and see how you feel.

Don’t be afraid to keep trying oral sex with another partner or with your current partner, and find out what you like and don’t like! 

Why Can’t I Cum From Head? (Struggling To Climax From Oral)

Orgasms Aren’t Everything

A lot of the time, we think that orgasms are the goal, but this is not always the case.

Having oral sex can be exciting, and can turn you or your partner on and make them want you even more. So, why does it have to involve an orgasm?

You can use oral sex as a tool to warm you both up, enjoy a little foreplay and get yourselves ready for passionate sex instead! 


To conclude, many people struggle to cum from oral, and you’re definitely not alone.

Whether it’s just a matter of overthinking, or maybe your partner isn’t on the same page as you, it’s common for you to feel distracted, or that things aren’t going in the right direction. 

The important thing is to not let it put a strain on your relationship, and simply talk about it.

There are things you can try, or other sexual positions and fun things to do that can result in orgasms in different ways.

Having orgasms is different for everyone, you’ve just got to find out what works for you.